Cassie travels on...

I thought yall might like to read a little of the next piece of Cassie's story. The first piece was here, second piece here and third piece here
To be warned...This post is not suitable for children.

Cassie woke to the biggest hangover she had ever had in her life! Her head was pounding, the sunlight was painful, her body felt like it had been drained of it's blood. She was in no condition to leave but she had to. He drove her to the interstate and filled her head with lots of warnings to hopefully help her stay out of trouble. The biggest warning was to not get drunk with strangers, that one she heard and whole heartedly agreed to. He made her feel like he truly cared and that there was hope in this new day.

The best thing Cassie has is the ability to shake things off and look forward, instead of dwelling on the pain. The past 48 hours have been hard and the tears flow wherever she thinks about it, so instead she hears her father's voice telling her to shake it off and put on your happy face. Her parents taught her well how to pretend to be happy. Everywhere they went it was important to make sure that people saw us as a happy family, nothing is wrong. "Unless you are bleeding or dying, you better smile."

So when the big rig pulled over with two men in it, she smiled, "you need a ride, darlin?" They were headed to Arizona, she hopped up into the truck with no fear, just happy to finally be headed in the right direction.
The driver was a tall, muscular, red headed man with freckles, with a friendly smile. Having lots of redheads in her family she was instantly drawn to him, maybe he could be her friend or even her boyfriend. The co driver was of average height, slender with curly brown hair and the more talkative of the two. 

Leaving Oklahoma behind her was such a relief and the drivers took her mind off of it by talking for hours. She had relaxed, felt safer than she had in days. They reached Arizona by that evening. She had breakfast in Oklahoma and dinner in Arizona. She marveled at that and when they proposed to her to travel along with them, she thought what difference will a few days make, no one knows I'm headed to California anyway.

She trusted them, felt safe with them, they were fun. Their next load was going to Florida. She got a little excited about going to Florida, her grandparents summered there every year. Although she didn't know where exactly in Florida they lived, she thought "maybe I could find them and stay with them, they wouldn't send me back, I'm sure of it." 

They reached Florida in the dark, she was having a great time chatting and viewing the towns as they went through each state. They convinced Cassie to stay with them, they were going to Indiana and then right back to Florida again. One more trip wont hurt her plans.

She never saw or felt the change coming.

(This is my story of when I was 15 and what all happened at that time. Cassie is the name I started using as an alias, so no one would be able to know who I was and send me back to my parents. This story doesn't end till I am back with my parents.)

Hard working slacker

The question was asked... Why don't you write anymore?

I sat here thinking what to say and I came up with a bunch of excuses that are just plain old lame.

No time, I call bull**** ! Now Heather you know that's a lie. You could've wrote something instead of spending an hour on Facebook playing a jigsaw game or Bingo.

Don't feel like I have anything to say. Closer but yet you spent nearly an hour on the phone with mom today and even chatted with dad for awhile. So again, I'm not buying it, think of something else.

Fine you want the truth... I don't think anyone really gives a damn about my life of crochet, sewing and hubby. This is true, I was finding my writing to be mundane and repetitive which annoyed me and made me feel like my life was stuck on pause. Seriously who wants to read about that?

Another thing that keeps me from hitting publish is my beliefs and opinions aren't streamlined like most, to be on one specific side or the other and it is really hard to not write about it. I have written many posts that had gotten a little to rowdy for my comfort so I didn't publish them. Sometimes writing your words out gives you a chance to see your anger rather than just feeling your anger.
Good therapy.

But it is not just that, it is laziness, pure and simple. I correspond with my pen pal about once a month and we do daily updates and mine are always filled with this or that about life, sewing or crochet. Problem is most of the time I am doing weeks at a time instead of doing it every day, like I should be.
Laziness, pure and simple. What could take 10 minutes a day, turns into hours in one day.

I am a hard working slacker! Haha

Rambling Monday

I haven't even had my coffee yet and I have cleaned up hubby's mess in the kitchen, made 2 gallons of kool-aid ,the man drinks way too much kool-aid, but I guess it is better than sprite.
Feed the critters, indoor and out.
Checked my Etsy page, no sales. This new vendor mall I joined doesn't seem to be panning out so far, I'll give it a little more time, wait and see.
Ugh here is the water bill I was supposed to have ready for the hubs this morning. I open it, well at least the price is predictable, it is good to know some things are reliable and consistent. Geez they sure don't give much time to get it paid, I look at the calendar, oh just a week, I thought it had only arrived 3 days ago. Boy Heather, you are slipping. I can remember when I would pay the bill the day it arrived. I haven't seen those days since May, I miss those days of not really having much to do but dream up things or clean house or work in the yard. Haven't been able to touch the yard in some time, I cringe every time I look out there and see the untamed wild creeping closer.
 I wonder if I should sew the wallet and bag I have had cut out all week waiting for a day off to tackle it. Well today is a day off but in the world of Heather it is still a work day just of a different sorts. I could pop in the Netflix movie and finish the tiger that needs to be done by Friday, actually it needs to be done before Brusier realizes it is there and pieces come up missing.
Hmmmm how about some coffee for a little more clarity on the decision. *pause for a 2 minute break*
Ohh before I forget, I need to do some work for my brothers company! I quickly call a client AGAIN, waiting for her to confirm an appointment time. Must call brother for some scheduling thing that he left a message about 2 days ago but I was too tired to think straight.

 Oh well all is lost for at least a few hours.... talking to my mommy! And then my sis, then my brother, then the hubby.. then face booking with a distant relative on how to get her business started, yeah like I really know, I don't feel like I am getting anywhere in my business but hey if I can help I will try.

This day is slowly slipping by and I haven't gotten anything accomplished yet, except for one invoice. Sounds like the movie and crochet are the winners for the day.

Just a little update...

I don't think anyone reads this anymore and yes that is my fault.

 I just wanted to write that things are crazy here with my new job after hubby gave me the second scare in a year. I had to find a job and boy did I get a whopper of a job with all the hours I can stand. I'm not fully taking advantage of that but pretty close. I could be doing overnighters but instead I am doing 11 - 13 hr shifts. What do I do? I assist the elderly. We do companionship, care, errands, housekeeping, cooking and dr appointments. Pretty much all the things I have been doing all my life, just for someone else and getting paid to do it.

Well anyway, it is time for me to get to bed for a 11 hr shift tomorrow. If anyone reads this, I hoe you have a great day!



   

Hubby's b-day

Some times I think I need to officially move the hubby's birthday to a different month.

Here we go again, hubby's b-day/Valentines day is upon us and it is right at the time that we have the least amount of funds. It happens every year, it's sad really, I can't remember the last time I got him something other than Reeses for his birthday. Not that we really do birthdays around here and thankfully he really does like Reeses but I was hoping I would be able to do a bit more this year. After all he gave me a big scare last year and I would like to celebrate that he has made it to another birthday. I just can't think what to do this year with the limited funds and he AIN'T gettin NO Reeses! When I say limited I mean I got $10 stashed away, I did have $30 but car inspection ate up most of it.

Am I complaining? Maybe a little bit but mostly I'm just trying to rack my brain into coming up with something cheap and brilliant. Do those two words ever go together? LOL! I'm thinking about what kind of man he is and the answer might be... no.

And I swear if he comes home saying he needs an oil change... well then, I will just have to trash the whole idea.

Suggestions are welcomed!

 

Senior moment? Probably.

What has been going on with me? I was sitting here browsing through the net trying to find some purse handles in bulk and at a good price. I saw a bag pattern called "Steph in the City". Hmmm wonder what has been happening for Stephanie's blog named "Steph in the City"? I search, where in the world has her blog gone? This is the second time it has gone missing from my readers list, grrrr. Am I the only person this happens too? I am sure no one has been messing with my blog, it is still empty from neglect. Am I having a split personality or senior moment of not remembering coming here and messing with things? And if soo why would I delete more than half of the blogs I follow? Well, I found Stephanie and all is good but I am still stumped. Soo I guess I will get back to searching for handles.

Spending less from less

I know it has been a long time since I have posted. It has been a slightly stressful year. I am once again trying to figure out how to save some money out of not much money. I think I go through this every year about this time when review the years finances and realize you are barely getting by with your bills paid. I do miss the days when spending an extra 60 - 100 a week on whatever without much thought to how it was effecting the bank book. Those days are gone. The trucking business is not what it used to be, the loads are cheap and getting harder to get with lots of over the road drivers turning to local work. 10 loads to 60 drivers is getting ridiculous but it is the career my hubby has and knows like the back of his hand. With just 7 yrs left before retirement it looks like we are just going to have to adjust more than we already have over the last few years. I just don't know how. I have watched our yearly income drop from 45 to 26 with help from family and yes even some from the government. I feel frustrated and overwhelmed at times. I used to know how to live on 800 a month, but that was no phone, computer, tv and not going anywhere except to dr appointments, those were horrible times and impossible now. So I have spent the evening looking for anything that will help me cut expenses. Blogs about not buying anything for a year has been my focus this year. I have to admit there are some things I have purchased this past year that I could have gone without. I'm looking right at the packages that come in the mail a few days ago.. a new foot for my sewing machine and some cotton cord for making my own piping and of course 2 yds of fabric. Are you making the same excuses I am... but those are for your crafts, your going to be making things with those. Yeah, I justify things like that BUT I totally shouldn't. I have fabric, I could make stuff that didn't require piping and then that would have eliminated the need for the piping foot. The point is some purchases could be avoided if I truly tried hard enough. I can't say that it will give us great savings BUT it could put an extra 20 in my pocket at the end of the month. Hey, who knows I might save enough to make an extra car payment! I wasn't having much luck with with the sites I was reading. I mean seriously... one guy saved 44 grand in one year by not spending a grand a week one god knows what! Or the girl who had a shopping addiction to buying clothes or shoes or eating out every night with her besties and saved nearly 10 grand. I never seem to find the posts that I can truly relate to. Like the fortune 500 lady that is going to forgo buying new clothes and cosmetics. Hahaha, as if I buy clothes and cosmetics!! I am making my resolution to not spend any "extra" money on things we truly don't need. The birds can find their own food and so can the deer. The dogs can do without doggiebones and the cats don't really need treats. Hubby doesn't need ice cream and I can do without... I want to say craft supplies but I know that wont do cause I already have an order waiting to be filled, shipped and paid for. I'm not sure what I can do without, I guess that extra yd of fabric that I really didn't need, just wanted.

One month of Plexus!!

Well my 30 days of Plexus challenge is about to be over in 3 days. First of all let me say I should have never limited myself to just one month and have decided to become an ambassador, cause this stuff really works and folks need to be told!! If your going to do Plexus commit yourself to at least 3-6 months, I really don't think you will regret it.

 I have gone down 13 lbs and 32 inches!!

Soo you want to see something?

Isn't that the coolest!!! I am soo thrilled I took the chance with Plexus!


Plexus has several products, I am currently on the Plexus Slim and Accelerator+ combo.  For Product info and to order... go to   www.startmyplexusjourney.com


Believe me.. If I can do it, soo can you!! 

 

Week 3 of Plexus...

Here is how I started out the week 3....
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Soo I have seen numerous before and after pics and it is my duty to have a before pic and in that fashion I found the most hideous outfit that hugs the rolls (mind you I would NEVER EVER wear this in public!!!), now grant it I have lost 10lbs and 28 inches so far so this really is 2 weeks late....Oops!

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 I'm just going to share one more thing (so it will be saved to my timeline)... When my step daughter Meg first told me about Plexus, I politely responded with the standard "I'm so happy for you" and yes, I was secretly rolling my eyes and brushing her off "Maybe later on". I saw her posts and saw she was losing the baby weight and how truly happy she was. Yes, I was truly happy for her but not enough to give in. Then her mom started it and was having good things to say about her health improving and this made me think... hmm, maybe I really should think about it. Meg had me read up on it and read testimonials, again I wasn't all that much convinced, BUT I was interested. I really made the poor girl work hard (sorry Meg) to bring me on board.

I just want to say out loud and at myself... What was you waiting for?? A brick to fall on your head? Gezz, Heather!! I am thrilled that I finally took the leap of faith and gave it a shot and STILL giving it a shot! It is not a quick fix, it is a commitment to getting a better and healthier you and I am finally on my journey and would love to have my friends and family come along with me.

I'm done for today... BUT... I'll be back tomorrow!!!
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You know what I just realized... I haven't needed to take my (generic) Prilosec in 2 weeks and I haven't had any (generic) tums in 4DAYS!!! As most of my close friends and family know, heartburn has been a serious issue for me for many many years, Prilosec every day and tums at least 2-3 times a day and still following it up with milk or dairy just to soothe it. I had read great testimonials on no more heartburn from other Plexus customers but really didn't think it would happen to me. I LOVE MY PLEXUS (and you should too)!!
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Sitting here answering Plexus questions and totally forgot about my coffee, 30 minutes and my first cup of coffee is still sitting on the counter. Just another one of the benefits of Plexus, not really wanting caffeine that much anymore! 
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  Week 3 of Plexus.... The week got of to a slow start (soo, that honey bun before bed was a bad idea. Oh and lets not forget the ginger snaps too!) but after all the hard work this week was 2 lbs off for a total of 12 lbs!!

I am soo excited to see what week 4 brings!



 

Week 2 of Plexus...

Today is day 9 and I have lost 8 lbs and 21 inches! I don't know where or how it is going but I sure am happy to see it gone. So far I have been sleeping better, no night sweats and definitely have more energy. I haven't changed my diet other than drinking lots of water. Which in a way does change your diet cause your too busy drinking your daily dose that you don't have time and your too full to snack. The only draw back is the need to pee ALL THE TIME! Haha

Today is day 11 and I have lost 10 lbs and 24 inches! It is soo wonderful I keep going back to my scales and tape just to make sure I got that right. Now I do have to confess something. As I stated before about the swelling in my feet, ankles and legs... I was told that that could be water and I should take water pills. I did take water pills for 3 days and it helped alot in the swelling but I stopped taking them cause I wasn't sure how they were reacting with the Plexus and/or changing my results.

Today is day 13 and I haven't lost any more weight but I did lose another 1/2 inch on each thigh... 10 lbs and 25 inches!

I am still drinking all my water. Sounds like such a simple sentence but in truth some days it can be pretty tough to get in that last bottle, there have even been some days that I was that last bottle short.

I just want to get this put to words... Not everybody's  results will be the same. Everybody is different, each body reacts in its own way, everybody lives different lifestyles. My lifestyle for example is... wishy-washy. I could spend all day here at the computer, in my chair crocheting, at my sewing machine, running errands OR I could be working outside digging in the dirt or trimming limbs. When I do work outside it usually results in super hard work and lots of sweat involved, which as been nearly everyday this week since I could get my feet in my sneakers again.
My point is...your results are your own and not to be compared with anybody else, just as you are you and no one else could be you.
We are not cookie cutters!


*Crap, now I want a cookie*

 

Week 1 of Plexus challenge

Soo it is day 5 of my Plexus challenge and I thought I would measure and see if there was any difference...ugh! Me and my tape measure and Miss. Twiggy are fighting! The only place I know FOR SURE (it is really hard to measure with a cat chasing the tape) that I lost is my arms. 1/2 inch off both forearms and both biceps = 2 inches! OMGoodness!!!

This is Day 6 of my Plexus challenge and I finally got to measure without the assistance of Miss. Twiggy (sound asleep..hehe) and the reduction in inches are adding up! I must say I am stunned at the results. Although my weight loss has only been 4 lbs, my body has lost a total of 12 inches!!

 Week 1 on my 30 days of Plexus challenge.... weigh in at 230 = down 6 lbs. 15 inches have just fallen off my body!!! How can I express this right....15 INCHES!!!! I am soo happy! I know "some" folks are interested in how I am doing on my Plexus challenge.

 

Plexus...Day one

Soo as most know today is the day I start my 30 days of Plexus. Well I all ready messed up and have questions.


Take the pink drink 30 minutes before eating...really??? I guess if you live on a schedule that would work out great. Needless to say it took me 40 minutes to drink 16 ounces BUT I must say I was surprised that it tasted good. Then I cooked and ate. Soo the question is 30 minutes from starting to drink it or from finishing it? Bigger question... How important is it to be 30 minutes? Is 20 or 40 or even an hour okay? These are the things I will have to find out.

I actually did drink 116 ounces of water and yes I had people disapprove because of the dangers. I am happy to report that I didn't have any complication other than having to pee soo bad that I couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough! Warning to self ** wear looser clothes, not something you have to struggle with**!

I didn't get to start this the way I wanted. I wanted to be able to add some walking but with a broken toe and swollen feet that is not happening, mostly I am laid up in bed with my feet propped up. It's going to be interesting to see if I get any results with such limited mobility.

Well I guess I better move on to day 2, see ya!

 

Starting Plexus!

Well tomorrow is the first day of my 30 days of Plexus!! My package arrived a few days ago, I promised myself I would wait till my birthday to start and it has been a long 3 day wait! I am excited to get started but slightly nervous about the water issue, I'm sure I can handle the initial 16 oz with the pink drink but the accelerator says to dink 8 glasses of water a day. I might could pull that off but I remember reading that you should really drink half your body weight in ounces of water, I just don't think I can do that one, not yet that is. Anywhoo I am just rambling cause I am nervous.

 I did the weight chart and now I have done a body chart with all my measurement which I have to say gave me a good chuckle. I went from a hour glass figure to a two hour glass figure! (hubby's joke that I thought was hilarious!)

I had to add the neck and on the back is a chart for my swollen feet and ankles which are currently .5 inches bigger than they were just 2 days ago.


Okay soo here we go... These are my big monster measurements and my start weight is questionable, yesterday it was 232 but with the swelling last night and today it jumped to 236.

Before Plexus...

I am challenging myself to 30 days of Plexus!!!

I have ordered the Plexus Pink Drink and waiting for it to come in the mail. I wanted to do a before testimony, a statement of who and what I am and what I want Plexus to do for me.

I have struggled with my weight all my life but only a few times. In general I don't really pay much attention to my weight, it is what it is and I am destined to be a big girl as I have all my life. Weight loss has always been a source of ridicule for me, yes I am ashamed to admit it but I am that person that shakes their head at those spending bucks for some weight loss program that they just quit or gain the weight back. Yo-yo dieting has never been my thing but then again when I think about it, it kinda is. Let me explain.

My brother did a chart of his weight gains and losses over his life and I thought that would be a good place to clarify things.

Now from this chart you would think that I know how to lose weight. I will be honest those 2 big dips in my weight are from bad choices in my life that I am nowhere near proud of. They mark the times that my diagnoses of "Manic Depressive" show themselves prominently. If your wondering what Manic Depressive means, it just means I lost my mind and for me it was through the help of alcohol and drugs. So as you can see I am not a dieter or a person to care about my weight or health.

Among all the changes I have done over the last decade... going clean (12 yrs) and sober (8 yrs) and now smoke-free (2 months), this is something I want and need to change as well!


So lets talk about my health. Pretty much I have been healthy, other than female issues and dental issues. I don't see a doctor nor am I on any meds, the last time I saw a general doctor was in 2000. I don't drink the proper amounts of water (unless coffee counts) and I'm not on any vitamins. I have been suffering with major acid reflux and heartburn for many years, I do take Prilosec (when I remember) and eat Tums (or the generic brands) like candy. For the last 8-9 months I have been suffering with swollen and painful feet and lately numbness in my toes and fingers. These are concerning me but not enough to pay a doctor to tell me I need to lose weight, I already know that!

Reasons I am trying Plexus: I have heard good news of folks having great success and not just in weight loss but in health benefits, feeling better and having more energy. Well I don't really need more energy, I don't have any young kiddos running around but I sure could use the "feeling better" part!

I want to do something different than your normal before pics. Normally folks post themselves in what they wear everyday and then when you get your after pic those clothes are baggy. I never understood this concept, it doesn't really give you a good view of the difference. I want to give you the ugly truth... these are the clothes I used to wear about 20 lbs ago, I want my after pic to be me in these clothes fitting properly.

(please excuse the mess, we just moved 2 weeks ago and the place is still a crazy mess)

Let the challenge begin, I'm ready!

Our little Secret...

So what has the New Year brought to us soo far....STRESS!

Not super bad stress like something bad happened but the good kind of stress where something wonderful will result from our moment of stress.

For those who follow me on Facebook might have noticed that I have been a little quiet lately. There is good reason for that. I have soo much to say but there are certain persons I don't want knowing whats going on just yet. Soo please if you leave a comment please leave it here on the blog and not through Facebook or private message me on Facebook. I just couldn't stand keeping such a huge secret from my closest friends (Sue, Peg, Grace, Angelia, Stacy...and soo many more) any longer. 
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We have been blessed with the opportunity to buy some land, not much but just enough to give us elbow room and a place to call ours forever. No more worrying about land owners dying and their children selling the property we sit on. Wonderful news right?!  Why should there be any stress?

OMG the hunt is mind boggling! Considering the budget is on the small side (but who is complaining, at least there is a budget at all), the listings are horrendous! At least 99% of them need a lot of work (which there is no extra money to do repairs) or sit on such a tiny piece of property the hubs would have a panic attack everyday and my dogs would drive me insane barking at every little noise! 

I suffered through the hunt, gave up on most days but managed to find some that met all requirements or at least most of them. It is not easy and the hunt does continue just in case things don't go as planned.

As of right now we are waiting to hear if we can move on to the next step for this one particular piece of property, apparently there are a lot of steps. This alone is driving my stress level almost to its max. My diet is blown to hell and the munchies have taken over. My creativity is being pushed aside cause apparently my brain can't function with all these numbers and percentages floating in my head. I always have been a "one thing at a time" kinda girl. Sad thing is, this process can take months!! What in the world am I going to do with myself for months?

Well for now I am focusing on going through things and determining whether or not this item or that item is worth moving with us. Which means I have a crap load of "NO's" sitting around waiting for me to have a yard sale. My house is a mess, which brings on more stress, I hate the house being out of control.

But I have to remind myself that in the long run it will be soo worth it or at least it better be!!! I am giddy with excitement at the idea that we will never have to worry again, the place will be OURS but there is that other side that is in panic mode. Surely someone understands what I am feeling.

Unexpected House Guest

Soo, on Thursday August 29th the hubby calls me. Okay that is not an unusual thing he calls every now and then but mostly just to let me know he is on his way home so I can know when to start supper. Those are calls I appreciate BUT this call was of a different topic and of one that I never thought my hubby would bring up.

His long time friend was in need of a place to stay for awhile, he is homeless and fixen to get out of the hospital for depression. Can he stay with us?

I was uttered speechless! In the 22 years of knowing my hubby, he has never asked such a thing. Yes, we have had visitors who have stayed with us for a weekend or even a week but never have we had a guest that had no leaving date. Honestly what could I say but sure, I guess that would be alright. I was thinking the hubs must really want to help him or he wouldn't be asking.

I got busy cleaning up the house a bit and was trying to figure where in the world are we going to put him. I thought maybe the old army cot that is hidden away in the closet or maybe rearranging the living room to accommodate the queen air mattress dad had given us just a month ago. Hubby got home and we talked. He was already regretting saying yes. Honestly he was hoping I would have said no and then the decision would have been out of his hands (yes, folks he wanted me to be the bad guy!). What was done was done and we were going to have to make the best of it. Where do you want me to set him up at? Don't set up anything, he can sleep in the recliner, I don't want him getting too comfortable that he wont leave.

His friend showed up the next day. I had met him a few times through out the 22 years but hadn't seen him in at least 11 years. I swear, I hardly recognized him. He looked so worn and sullen compared to the soft and lively person we had known back then. Alcohol had really done a number on him. I had my time with the stuff and know all too well how bad it can get. This was probably a 8 1/2 out of 10 bad.

I made it VERY clear to the hubs that there was to be NO alcohol in this house, PERIOD. As hubby and I are both recovering alcoholics, I didn't want that stuff in my house. He did relay my message. When his friend went to hug me as soon as he walked in the door, I was on the verge of vomiting, the odor of alcohol on his breathe and in his sweat was soo overwhelming, it was sickening. I guess he thought since he wasn't going to be able to drink he would get in a really good one before he got here. He pretty much slept the days away (in the same funk he walked in the door with for over a week!), just waking long enough to pee and eat. I was seriously grossed out, he only showered twice the whole time!

My living room is... 2 chairs and a couch, coffee table and our only tv. 13 x 15 room, not very big, just right for the 2 of us. I had been booted out of my chair, mostly stuck in my office/kitchen area. I think I watched maybe 6 hrs of tv the whole time he was here. Hadn't had any decent conversations with my hubby in weeks.

Yes, folks he was with us for 3 weeks! But the hardest part was the not knowing if or when he was ever leaving. When the 2nd week rolled around, hubby asked if so-and-so would come and get him if he asked. The response was yes but then nothing happened. Hubby was getting angry, apparently his friend misunderstood him or was blatantly ignoring his request for so-and-so to come get him. 2 days later I was taking him to the store and I asked when so-and-so was coming to get him and he declared it would be the following Friday. I called hubby from the store to relay the somewhat good news...

Hubby says... she is 2 days late!!! LOL!

Okay before you go thinking that I am being very harsh and uncaring, I assure you that is not the case. Hubby and I live in a (maybe) 2 horse town. The job opportunities are nonexistent without transportation. Hubby and I both were shocked and very disappointed to find out he didn't have a car or even a license, there is literally no hope of finding something in his line of work way out here. Thankfully he did have some money to pay for his own smokes and non alcoholic beer (I caved slightly after seeing him sitting there shaking, it seemed to help him psychologically), he did provide for himself. He did clean up after himself, which I was truly grateful. We just didn't see anyway for him to get back on the right path being stuck out in the boonies with nothing to do and no prospects.

All I can say is that we tried to help him as best as we could. I helped him file for disability but that could take years to finally be approved. He had to make his way back to the big city if he was going to have any chance of finding his footing.

Honesty... I am glad that I have my house to myself again, glad that I get to spend time with my hubby again, but feel ohh soo guilty for being glad. I know we did all we could but it just feel like it was enough. Oh well, I will get over it. You can only help a person that is willing to help themselves instead of drowning life away in booze. When he is truly ready to throw down the bottle, then he will be more willing to get his life back on track.

There are times when I do consider myself on the lazy side. I put some chores off, I stay home most of the time, watch tv, mess around on the computer, crochet...etc. NOPE, I'm not all that lazy at all, I have seen the true definition of lazy and it is disturbing! He slept, ate, watched tv, the most exercise he got was walking back and forth to the fridge for his fake beer and going to the bathroom a million times!

I do wish him the best of luck and I am glad he was appreciative of us putting him up for a few weeks. Too bad it wasn't a life changing  3 weeks. It definitely was for us!!


 

Unexpected House Guest.

Soo, on Thursday August 29th the hubby calls me. Okay that is not an unusual thing he calls every now and then but mostly just to let me know he is on his way home so I can know when to start supper. Those are calls I appreciate BUT this call was of a different topic and of one that I never thought my hubby would bring up.

His long time friend was in need of a place to stay for awhile, he is homeless and fixen to get out of the hospital for depression. Can he stay with us?

I was uttered speechless! In the 22 years of knowing my hubby, he has never asked such a thing. Yes, we have had visitors who have stayed with us for a weekend or even a week but never have we had a guest that had no leaving date. Honestly what could I say but sure, I guess that would be alright. I was thinking the hubs must really want to help him or he wouldn't be asking.

I got busy cleaning up the house a bit and was trying to figure where in the world are we going to put him. I thought maybe the old army cot that is hidden away in the closet or maybe rearranging the living room to accommodate the queen air mattress dad had given us just a month ago. Hubby got home and we talked. He was already regretting saying yes. Honestly he was hoping I would have said no and then the decision would have been out of his hands (yes, folks he wanted me to be the bad guy!). What was done was done and we were going to have to make the best of it. Where do you want me to set him up at? Don't set up anything, he can sleep in the recliner, I don't want him getting too comfortable that he wont leave.

His friend showed up the next day. I had met him a few times through out the 22 years but hadn't seen him in at least 11 years. I swear, I hardly recognized him. He looked so worn and sullen compared to the soft and lively person we had known back then. Alcohol had really done a number on him. I had my time with the stuff and know all too well how bad it can get. This was probably a 8 1/2 out of 10 bad.

I made it VERY clear to the hubs that there was to be NO alcohol in this house, PERIOD. As hubby and I are both recovering alcoholics, I didn't want that stuff in my house. He did relay my message. When his friend went to hug me as soon as he walked in the door, I was on the verge of vomiting, the odor of alcohol on his breathe and in his sweat was soo overwhelming, it was sickening. I guess he thought since he wasn't going to be able to drink he would get in a really good one before he got here. He pretty much slept the days away (in the same funk he walked in the door with for over a week!), just waking long enough to pee and eat. I was seriously grossed out, he only showered twice the whole time!

My living room is... 2 chairs and a couch, coffee table and our only tv. 13 x 15 room, not very big, just right for the 2 of us. I had been booted out of my chair, mostly stuck in my office/kitchen area. I think I watched maybe 6 hrs of tv the whole time he was here. Hadn't had any decent conversations with my hubby in weeks.

Yes, folks he was with us for 3 weeks! But the hardest part was the not knowing if or when he was ever leaving. When the 2nd week rolled around, hubby asked if so-and-so would come and get him if he asked. The response was yes but then nothing happened. Hubby was getting angry, apparently his friend misunderstood him or was blatantly ignoring his request for so-and-so to come get him. 2 days later I was taking him to the store and I asked when so-and-so was coming to get him and he declared it would be the following Friday. I called hubby from the store to relay the somewhat good news...

Hubby says... she is 2 days late!!! LOL!

Okay before you go thinking that I am being very harsh and uncaring, I assure you that is not the case. Hubby and I live in a (maybe) 2 horse town. The job opportunities are nonexistent without transportation. Hubby and I both were shocked and very disappointed to find out he didn't have a car or even a license, there is literally no hope of finding something in his line of work way out here. Thankfully he did have some money to pay for his own smokes and non alcoholic beer (I caved slightly after seeing him sitting there shaking, it seemed to help him psychologically), he did provide for himself. He did clean up after himself, which I was truly grateful. We just didn't see anyway for him to get back on the right path being stuck out in the boonies with nothing to do and no prospects.

All I can say is that we tried to help him as best as we could. I helped him file for disability but that could take years to finally be approved. He had to make his way back to the big city if he was going to have any chance of finding his footing.

Honesty... I am glad that I have my house to myself again, glad that I get to spend time with my hubby again, but feel ohh soo guilty for being glad. I know we did all we could but it just feel like it was enough. Oh well, I will get over it. You can only help a person that is willing to help themselves instead of drowning life away in booze. When he is truly ready to throw down the bottle, then he will be more willing to get his life back on track.

There are times when I do consider myself on the lazy side. I put some chores off, I stay home most of the time, watch tv, mess around on the computer, crochet...etc. NOPE, I'm not all that lazy at all, I have seen the true definition of lazy and it is disturbing! He slept, ate, watched tv, the most exercise he got was walking back and forth to the fridge for his fake beer and going to the bathroom a million times!

I do wish him the best of luck and I am glad he was appreciative of us putting him up for a few weeks. Too bad it wasn't a life changing  3 weeks. It definitely was for us!!


 

Strangers Walking...

I am convinced that too much information of the evils in this world has made me too extra cautious and uncaring. There was a time in my life when I didn't know or care of the evils that floats around us everyday. When I walked the streets at midnight without a care in the world, no fear. No fear of strangers hurting me or of having evil intentions.

Today I did something that is totally out of character for the adult version of myself, more like the carefree girl I used to be.

I was coming back from the bank which is 11 miles from my house. I was about 4 miles into my journey home when I saw 2 men and a teen (maybe 12) boy walking towards where I came from. One of the men starting waving his arms. For some unknown reason I turned around! I didn't think of the fear of the evils until I had just pulled up in front of them. Too late now dummy! The man asked if there was a store up this way, I said yes but it is still a good distance away, hop in. Did I just say hop in? Seriously Heather??!!

In my defense...it's super duper HOT out there!!! If it was me on the side of the road, I sure as heck would want someone to stop! In today's world there is slim chance anyone would stop.

Turns out the men are traveling field workers (most likely undocumented) and travel from city to city following the work. This week they are working 8 hours a day for $50, in the hot hot sun and only ONE 30 minute break! They chose to use this break to try to find a store to get something cold to drink. They only had 13 minutes left of there break and where still miles from the closest store. (oh, btw they spoke English like they had been doing it all their lives, which surprised me) Next week they are headed down south to work in the watermelon patches for a grand a week.

They were very polite and grateful.

I am ashamed to say...I can't remember the last time I picked someone up on the side of the road. That I have allowed myself to be consumed with the negativity of the world as filled with evil intent at any moment.

I so want to be that carefree, no fear, girl I used to be. Glad I got to trow away my fear for a brief moment and help someone out. 


 

Old man wanting a motorcycle...

So the hubs came home with the old familiar words on his lips... I want a motorcycle. (he only tells me this when someone at work has one for sale)

I have heard these words many times in the last 10 or so years, since he sold his last bike. He wrecked that bike and broke his collarbone. Add that injury to the major neck injury and of course the first question in the line of questioning (what is it, why do you want it and how much)  was...

"Who is going to hold it up for you?"
    I can do it! (a little whine in it for me to know that I asked a silly question)

"Why do you want it?"
    For the gas mileage. (Okay, I knew that was coming)

"What kind is it?"
    (he said but for the life of me I can't remember)
      "Never heard of it"
         It's European.
           (The first thing that flashed in my mind was "They drive on the wrong side of the road")

I blurted out (without thinking)...

"What side of the road does it drive on?"

We busted out laughing!!!!!

Leaping summers of learning...

Two summers ago I took the leap into the unknown and tested myself with crochet. I learned to make crocheted animals and toys. Last summer I took another leap and forced myself past the fear of canning. I made jams...blackberry, peach and plum. Just a few months later I leaped into creating crochet patterns. I opened my own Etsy shop. This summer I am leaping into sewing. I made my first shopping bag! I have lots to learn but I am giving it my best shot.