Unexpected House Guest.

Soo, on Thursday August 29th the hubby calls me. Okay that is not an unusual thing he calls every now and then but mostly just to let me know he is on his way home so I can know when to start supper. Those are calls I appreciate BUT this call was of a different topic and of one that I never thought my hubby would bring up.

His long time friend was in need of a place to stay for awhile, he is homeless and fixen to get out of the hospital for depression. Can he stay with us?

I was uttered speechless! In the 22 years of knowing my hubby, he has never asked such a thing. Yes, we have had visitors who have stayed with us for a weekend or even a week but never have we had a guest that had no leaving date. Honestly what could I say but sure, I guess that would be alright. I was thinking the hubs must really want to help him or he wouldn't be asking.

I got busy cleaning up the house a bit and was trying to figure where in the world are we going to put him. I thought maybe the old army cot that is hidden away in the closet or maybe rearranging the living room to accommodate the queen air mattress dad had given us just a month ago. Hubby got home and we talked. He was already regretting saying yes. Honestly he was hoping I would have said no and then the decision would have been out of his hands (yes, folks he wanted me to be the bad guy!). What was done was done and we were going to have to make the best of it. Where do you want me to set him up at? Don't set up anything, he can sleep in the recliner, I don't want him getting too comfortable that he wont leave.

His friend showed up the next day. I had met him a few times through out the 22 years but hadn't seen him in at least 11 years. I swear, I hardly recognized him. He looked so worn and sullen compared to the soft and lively person we had known back then. Alcohol had really done a number on him. I had my time with the stuff and know all too well how bad it can get. This was probably a 8 1/2 out of 10 bad.

I made it VERY clear to the hubs that there was to be NO alcohol in this house, PERIOD. As hubby and I are both recovering alcoholics, I didn't want that stuff in my house. He did relay my message. When his friend went to hug me as soon as he walked in the door, I was on the verge of vomiting, the odor of alcohol on his breathe and in his sweat was soo overwhelming, it was sickening. I guess he thought since he wasn't going to be able to drink he would get in a really good one before he got here. He pretty much slept the days away (in the same funk he walked in the door with for over a week!), just waking long enough to pee and eat. I was seriously grossed out, he only showered twice the whole time!

My living room is... 2 chairs and a couch, coffee table and our only tv. 13 x 15 room, not very big, just right for the 2 of us. I had been booted out of my chair, mostly stuck in my office/kitchen area. I think I watched maybe 6 hrs of tv the whole time he was here. Hadn't had any decent conversations with my hubby in weeks.

Yes, folks he was with us for 3 weeks! But the hardest part was the not knowing if or when he was ever leaving. When the 2nd week rolled around, hubby asked if so-and-so would come and get him if he asked. The response was yes but then nothing happened. Hubby was getting angry, apparently his friend misunderstood him or was blatantly ignoring his request for so-and-so to come get him. 2 days later I was taking him to the store and I asked when so-and-so was coming to get him and he declared it would be the following Friday. I called hubby from the store to relay the somewhat good news...

Hubby says... she is 2 days late!!! LOL!

Okay before you go thinking that I am being very harsh and uncaring, I assure you that is not the case. Hubby and I live in a (maybe) 2 horse town. The job opportunities are nonexistent without transportation. Hubby and I both were shocked and very disappointed to find out he didn't have a car or even a license, there is literally no hope of finding something in his line of work way out here. Thankfully he did have some money to pay for his own smokes and non alcoholic beer (I caved slightly after seeing him sitting there shaking, it seemed to help him psychologically), he did provide for himself. He did clean up after himself, which I was truly grateful. We just didn't see anyway for him to get back on the right path being stuck out in the boonies with nothing to do and no prospects.

All I can say is that we tried to help him as best as we could. I helped him file for disability but that could take years to finally be approved. He had to make his way back to the big city if he was going to have any chance of finding his footing.

Honesty... I am glad that I have my house to myself again, glad that I get to spend time with my hubby again, but feel ohh soo guilty for being glad. I know we did all we could but it just feel like it was enough. Oh well, I will get over it. You can only help a person that is willing to help themselves instead of drowning life away in booze. When he is truly ready to throw down the bottle, then he will be more willing to get his life back on track.

There are times when I do consider myself on the lazy side. I put some chores off, I stay home most of the time, watch tv, mess around on the computer, crochet...etc. NOPE, I'm not all that lazy at all, I have seen the true definition of lazy and it is disturbing! He slept, ate, watched tv, the most exercise he got was walking back and forth to the fridge for his fake beer and going to the bathroom a million times!

I do wish him the best of luck and I am glad he was appreciative of us putting him up for a few weeks. Too bad it wasn't a life changing  3 weeks. It definitely was for us!!


 

Bits of this and that...

Well here we are again almost two years later and I am headed back to the eye doctor for those bifocals that I needed but didn't get. Wondering if I should go for a different look or stick to what I like best. I'll let ya know how it goes.
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I was getting a whole chicken ready and stuffed for the oven. I put the stuffing in and sewed up the skin to hold it in. Hubby has asked me a few times over the years...if he was ever to need stitches, would I sew him up? My response has always been a HECK NO!! Well, he came in the kitchen just as I was sewing up the bird and said...You will never be able to get away with saying no ever again! HA, wanna bet! LOL!
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Since our sudden change in smoking habits since April, we have been doing good. Although hubby did start smoking again, he is still down to half a pack a day, like me. It really helps that I have implemented a no-smoking in the house rule. I truly believe this rule is the only reason we are doing so well, it forces us to have to go outside and in these temps...you have to REALLY want one! LOL! I also noticed that it has brought me and the hubs some good quality chat time, sitting on the porch together instead of competing for attention over the noise of the television.
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Well, I guess that is it for now. Hope yall have a good week!   

"Have I done anything significant in the last ten years?"

Today marks the 10th anniversary of the day hubby should have been killed by that pipe that whacked him across the head and cracked two vertebra in his neck, busted his eardrum, broke his ear and a hairline fracture on the skull. This has left him in a strange mood today. I'm sure it didn't help matters that he had to put our cat down today, I know how much that pains him to have to do that.

He asked me a very powerful question that I at first didn't know what to say to.

"Have I done anything significant in the last ten years?"

I hadn't realized it had been 10 years since the accident, I didn't grasp to what he was referring to or looking for. I asked stupid stuff like...you mean around the house, for us or generosity towards others?.

In general, he says. Like what have I done with the 10 years I shouldn't have had.

I was stumped.

But then I blurted out... you've been wonderful to me, you provide and are constantly doing things for me! AND hey we ended up getting married 6 years ago, that wouldn't have happened if you had died. PLUS you've had grand babies, to which he replied with a "that would've happened anyway". I countered it with "that you have been able to see and they have had the opportunity to love you. You also might want to think on this...it would have been torture for your parents to have had to bury their son.  After a few moments of reflecting on these he agreed I was right.

AND now that I have had a few moment to reflect on this, I have come to the conclusion that it really isn't a matter of what you have done with your time it is that you were here for that time and just your presence has an impact on those around you.

 
 

Count to Ten, Breathe and try not to Scream!

This morning started with me opening my eyes, looking at the clock and determining it is too early to get out of bed especially considering this is the third time I have opened my eyes already. First at 3, then at 6 and again at 8. I slept 10 minutes more and Taco was at my door barking to be let outside. I grumble in frustration and go ahead and get up. I didn't even make it to the coffee and hubby is grumbling about the mess that Little Boy had made with the living room in his attempts to find a window that he could get out by. I clean up the mess, head to the coffee only to realize that there isn't any!

Get coffee going, head to the bathroom. The litter box is rank, so had to deal with that. Hubby had thrown a large pile of laundry right in the entrance of the bathroom, I nearly tripped over it this morning, so I guess it is going to be a laundry day. Whiskers threw up and as soon as I had that cleaned up, he did it again! Mind you I still haven't had any coffee yet!

All of this has had me going to the trash can a few times, YES the trash can is overflowing and hubby commented that it needed to go out. Sigh (with some grrrrs).

Hubby informs me I have to hurry up and get to the grocery store, he is on his last bit of Sprite. I sigh. I grab a pen and paper and start my list. BIG sigh! I know I have said it a bunch of times BUT "I hate grocery shopping!". The prices depress me.

Hubby also asks me about his dollar coins that I should have picked up at the bank yesterday when I was there but forgot. This throws me over the top and I get snippy at him. SIGH!

What the heck is taking the friggin coffee so long!!!!!!

Bad sleep, let dogs out, Little Boys mess, NO COFFEE! Litter box, laundry, cat barf, NO COFFEE! Trash, grocery list, snippy at hubby, STILL no friggin COFFEE!

I cheat and steal half a cup from the unfinished pot. Quickly do my budget as I swig it down and am out the door headed to the grocery store. I get back and hubby is busy loading the truck with the trash to take to the dumpster. No help this time. Grumble, grumble. As I am still unloading the car, hubby comes back and informs me that the truck is overdue for an oil change. Okay, since I am still on my feet and outside, I'll head on over to the parts store and pick up the oil and filter.


Ohh but first come look at this, the truck is a quart low on oil. This is why I don't want you taking this truck on long trips! AND look at this hose...he touches the hose...gives it a pull and there ya go! I am officially broke down! The hose broke off and guess what...the parts store doesn't carry it! I'm going to have to try to find it from the dealership.

Thankfully for yall, I am sitting here and finally getting to drink my coffee and hopefully calm down.

Now to get back to that laundry! (But I really just want to go back to bed and try to start this day over)

Recap of the last few months

Soo...it has been a super long time since I have written anything. I knew I had been neglecting my blog but hadn't realized just how long it had been..4 months!! Well to be honest not much has been going on around here, except a whole lot of crocheting and some super hot days. Lets see if I can break it down and remember some things. I'm gonna cheat an use my Facebook status's for a guide.

June and July...basically those were the dog days of summer. So friggin hot it was torture just to walk to the mailbox. We didn't do much of anything outside. The scorched weeds did need mowing but the fear of fire was too great to risk it.
I had the ac's cranked and still it was hot, but I still managed to get some crochet projects done.
I did go to the zoo with my sister and her little family, that was lot of fun, but it was super hot!!
I also went to a family gathering for a late Father's day and early b-day celebration for dad.
Daughter Jennifer came out to spend the day with her dad on father's day, that was fun getting to spend time with the grandkids.
We also had a new addition to our family, granddaughter Pearl.
Hubby was home for a whole week while his truck was being worked on, that was a scary week not knowing just how long he was going to be out of work.
One more thing...I began to teach myself to knit! I have gone 40+ years without ever trying, it was time to muster up the courage and get it over with.

August...Going on our 3rd month of 100+ temps and all energy has been zapped out of human and animal alike.
I started the month out in pain from a pinched nerve in my lower back that hurt all the way down to my toes.
I did have a good visit with my brother and his little family, it is always a treat when they visit.
We did go on vacation to visit with friends and family up in the Dallas area. It was only a three day trip but it was wonderful getting to see and spend time with everybody. We saw alot of old friends that we hadn't seen in a super long time, also we got to meet our newest granddaughter and spend time with the grandkids, so that was pretty exciting.
Another good thing was that the trip didn't cost nearly as much as we had predicted.
The only bad thing that happened was I kinked my neck on the trip home and had a stiff and sore neck for a week afterwards. Well worth the pain, I'd say!
I also started a blanket for the hubby...Harley Davidson blanket! I was all excited cause it was the first time I had worked on a blanket that had multiple strands going all at the same time.

Sept...Sat around hoping for rain and watched the ground shrivel up and die.
Hubby did mowed the dirt, that was pretty funny. He had a huge dust cloud rolling behind him, reminded me of the character from Charlie Brown. LOL! It's still funny just remembering the image.
We did manage to get a few sprinkles now and then in the beginning of the month but nothing that could be measured.
I made a trip up to see the folks and work on their computer, I even got dad set up for Facebook. That lasted for about a week!
Got to go visit with my bf for a day, I do miss being able to see her whenever I feel like it.
My mom had 4 deaths on her side of the family and had to go to Maine, us kids had to do what we could to watch over the old man. We can only do soo much with someone so stubborn! LOL!
I got a lot of crochet projects done in the month of September, finished up some that had been in my closet for years.
Made another trip to parents house to AGAIN mess with their computer.
Got a few decent showers in the latter portion of the month.

October...Finished the blanket for the hubs, he has been using it ever since. He loves it!
Made a trip to brothers house to clean up for the arrival of his new girlfriend from Australia in 2 weeks. I have talked with her and already like her very much.
One of my kitties has been missing for the last week, pretty sure she met with fowl play.
Hubby has been home since mid-day Thursday..AGAIN having work done on his truck, not sure if he will be back to work Monday or not.

Well that is about it, it is actually more than I thought it would be!