Monday, November 23, 2009

Promises of Forever

I know Hubby and I can't be the only people, that find the following statements of gushing adoration in the form of promises to be ridiculous and actually lies.

They are in fairy tales we read to our children, a crap load of movies, even in a lot of peoples wedding vows, just to name a few!

These won't seem like lies, but if you really think about them, even in the best relationships, they are lies.

You be the judge:

I will love you forever...Oh, so that means when I die, you wont be taking on another spouse or even a lover. If I die tomorrow, forever is aloooong time!

I will be with you for the rest of my life...Oops I forgot, you might die before me. I guess if I'm to keep this promise, then I'm going to have to hang your ashes around my neck till I die or sit next to your grave for the rest of my life.

I will never leave you...That means we will both be dying at the exact same moment, Right?

I will follow you to the ends of the Earth...Oh, so the other day when I asked you to go to the grocery store with me and you said NO, you broke your promise! Where is the ENDS of the Earth, anyways?

Where you go, I go...In the end, if you don't stop lying, you won't be going where I'm going! AND stop following me to the bathroom!

I want to spend eternity with you...Ohhh so you are a vampire and are going to recruit me. So we can Live and Live and Live...

I will never love anyone but you...Not even your parents or even your children, NOW I know your lying!

They lived happily ever after...I'm sure Sleeping Beauty was not all that happy, living out the rest of her elderly years without Prince Charming. Which most women do out live their spouses.

I'm sure there is a whole lot more of these types of promises, I just can't stomach to think of any more.

Why do people subject their loved ones with this stuff?

I used to say such things to my first hubby and after that not working out, I realized...

Unless you have a crystal ball looking into the future...

How can anyone honestly promise something about the future?

If we promise our love forever, then marriage should be a breeze! There should be no such thing as divorce.

I mean really, how many past relationships have had these promises in them? If these weren't lies, then they wouldn't be past relationships, they would be current ones and you would have to die at the same exact moment to keep them.

I think life would get pretty stale, if we just knew for a fact based on a promise that our relationships were going to last FOREVER.

Hubby has to work for my love and I have to work for his. Everyday!

If you think I'm wrong, tell me so!
If you think I am touched in the head, well tell me that too!

P.S. Hubby and I are just fine!
This a topic we are in agreement on.


Maureen@IslandRoar said... [Reply to comment]

As always, you sound like you have your head on so straight. And Hubby too!

Spot said... [Reply to comment]

Hubby once told me (in our much younger years) that if I left him, he'd follow me and sit outside my house and shoot any other man who came over. I should have been frightened, but at the time I thought it was romantic. I'm pretty sure he's too lazy now to follow through on this. So it's all good. But you're right, the promises are silly, no matter how passionate they sound in the heat of the moment.

Although, Mo's last boyfriend was something of a stalker when they broke up...I think crazy people might actually mean those


Menopausal New Mom said... [Reply to comment]

So true! I like your statement that you earn each others love everyday. Never a truer statement!

Shell Franklin said... [Reply to comment]

OK, so I have to disagree, at least in part. I do think you can love someone forever. Just because they die does not mean you stop loving them. And even with my ex wife, there is still a part of me that loves her even though I have remarried.

Now, yes, some of these are silly but I think originally a lot of them were meant not to be a statement of the physical but of the spiritual. You never really forget a loved one so spiritually they are always without even if only in memories.

Once I loved another,
Now there’s only you
Still love never dies,
It’s only added to.
So once you’ve loved,
Down deep inside
You’ll always have a place,
that love will abide.
Please, ask not,
That I forget loves once known
For without them,
I would never have grown
Forgetting them,
I just cannot do,
If not for leaving them,
I would not have found you.
Their love and friendship,
I would have to say
Helped mold and make me,
What I am today.
So please believe,
That from the start
God knew eternally,
Only you could hold my heart.
(Observations - Shell Franklin)

mindy@thesuburbanlife said... [Reply to comment]

You know what? I kind of agree...a little. My hubby and I always say, "I love you for as long as it works." We're teasing...kind of. =)

Kathryn said... [Reply to comment]

Hilarious! So, I take it if I see you at the next wedding, you'll be the one rolling your eyes and sighing dramatically???

I know what you mean, though...and agree. I don't think you can feel this way when you're young tho...that's what idealism is all about.
And being incredibly naive....

Heather said... [Reply to comment]

Maureen...No, no, no..That is just a rumor!

Spot...Good thing he won't do that now or that really would be scary!

Yup, I think the crazies truelly believe!

Menopausal...Have to continually earn it or it will die.

Shell...I guess you could say I am a realist, instead of a spiritualist.

Some people like you can get lucky and still have love for their ex's, I have never been in that situation.

Nice poem!

Mindy..."As long as it works", nice! I like that.

Kathryn...Look out over the people and if you see white eyes instead of brown, that will be me! LOL

Definately a young persons idealism. They can't see past their hopes.

Angelia said... [Reply to comment]

Hahaha, UM, tell us how you REALLY feel??

I think it's good that you have conviction about love and what works for you.

I think a lot of marriages fail, because they don't know what love really is, or if they even love themselves, or even know who they really are.

Movies make it real tough, there are so many cheesy bricks out there, it really isn't funny.

I finally know more about love than I have before, but it took finding love for myself to get there. I actually do still love my ex-husband, but not in the married kind of way, in my baby's daddy kind of way.


Stephanie Faris said... [Reply to comment]

I once worked with a woman who absolutely adored her husband of 10 years. She even got giddy with excitement at meeting him for lunch, which she did every day. It was so cute. But even she said that she didn't want to believe there was only one person for every person because if something happened to her husband, she wouldn't want to think she'd have to spend the rest of her life alone. I think some people just have different people for different phases of their lives. Since most women outlive their's sweet when you see a widow fall in love again at the age of 70 or whatever. Of course, you do see a lot of women who lose their husbands and never marry again, but most of them are just fed up with waiting on men!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said... [Reply to comment]

There's a reason for the richer or poorer, sickness or health.... We work at love everyday too over here. Some days/ weeks/ months/ years are better than others.

Heather said... [Reply to comment]

Angelia...I agree. You have to at least love yourself before you can love another.

Stephanie...I think that will be me, not ever getting married again. Fed up with men! LOL

PHST...LOL. Dwindling funds have brought hubby and I closer.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said... [Reply to comment]

I'm expected to espouse this garbage on a daily basis, and I. Just. Can't.

A very good summation of our misguided ideals of the grandiose nature of love. It's bigger than life, so I shall tell you lies to cover your expectations! Excellent.

How about this? I'll tell you I love you by bringing home pizza this Friday night.

Heather said... [Reply to comment]

Mjenks...Pepperoni, plzzz!!! LOL