Monday, November 2, 2009

Pick-up Lines

In my time I have heard many different very lame pick-up lines.

From the most general...

Where have you been all my life,
God sent me an angel,
It's my lucky day to have found you,
You want to go to San Antonio?..I'll show you the Alamo! (that one worked)

To the disgusting...

Can I press my body to yours..I want to see if we match,
I bet you are superb in bed,
Can you stick out your tongue and twirl it for me?
I bet my Blank, will fit know where

Those are just a few, but you get the idea.

Well, I thought I had heard them all.

Now mind you...I haven't looked great since my late twenties, I've gained weight, lost many teeth and my hair has a lot of grey.

I was not in a bar, I was not drunk at a friends house...

I was at the...


In the produce section getting bananas. I had to wait for a man to move out of the way, we made eye contact for a brief micro second. I ran into him again in the bakery and again he was looking at me, making the hair stand on my neck. I was starting to get a little creeped out by the time I got to the meats. While looking at the turkeys (the bird, not ppl), this man approaches and asks...

Have you ever cooked Chicken Fried Steak? Ahhh..yeah.

Thankfully my face was never good at concealing my thoughts, I'm sure it conveyed to him that I thought he was insane! He left my presence and thankfully I didn't see him again.

I can safely say I have never heard that one before!

WT*..?? That was the best he could come up with?
Was it a test to see if I was a good cook?
That is how it felt, like he has to make sure a girl can cook above anything else.
What did he think, that micro second was an invite? Geez!!

Hubby and I had a real good time laughing about that one!

*Sorry about the bad words*


Spot said... [Reply to comment]

There are a lot of weirdos out there. Really. And well, you know, cooking is a good quality to have. Hahaha.

Funny stuff.

JD at I Do Things said... [Reply to comment]

Hey, at least you're still GETTING pickup lines. It's been a while for me. Unless you count that guy at the Y who stares at me while I work out on the elliptical. Nah. On the other hand, I do probably sing aloud a lot accidentally, so it could be that.

Kathryn said... [Reply to comment]

HA! You had him so FREAKED by your beauty, all he could think of was chicken fried steak!!!

Sprite's Keeper said... [Reply to comment]

I was getting diapers for Sprite about a year ago and in the baby aisle when a man came up to me and asked if I was looking for a baby daddy. Holding up the diaper box, I said "I already HAVE a baby daddy". So he responded with "But are you happy?". I actually didn't have a comeback for that.

Heather said... [Reply to comment]

Spot...Then he definately picked the wrong girl..Ha ha

JD...Welcome! That was the first one in a long time. Your seranade is just to irresistible for him.

Kathryn...Freaked..good one..Ha ha. Looking at my large body made him hungry. LOL

Heather said... [Reply to comment]

Sprite's Keeper...Oh my goodness! That is crazy! I hadn't heard that one either. Are you happy? Even if I wasn't, I wouldn't be looking for you!

Maureen@IslandRoar said... [Reply to comment]

I've heard grocery stores are great places to meet men; I wouldn't know cuz I only go to shop.
Chicken Fried Steak? He should've asked you if you could cook something fancy like shrimp scampi.

Heather said... [Reply to comment]

Maureen...That is what my mom said..the grocery store is the new laundromat. I'm like..How would you know? LOL

I guess he wanted to make sure he would get feed everyday on a low budget. LOL

mindy@thesuburbanlife said... [Reply to comment]

Oh, that's hilarious! I've heard many a lame pick-up line in my day...mostly from my husband! Your boyfriend at the butcher probably wanted to finish the "Have you ever cooked chicken fried steak?" with "because you're sure making my meat sizzle." He. He. He.
BTW...Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog! =)

Tinkerschnitzel said... [Reply to comment]

That's funny. I've never had anyone hit on me at the grocery store, well, maybe but I didn't notice they were hitting on me. I prefer to mess with the stock boys. They're fun to scare.

Heather said... [Reply to comment]

Mindy...From your Husband? LOL The last and first line my hubby gave me was the "want to go to San Antonio, I'll show you the Alamo!"

Tinkerschnitzel...Stock boys..hmmm The cougar is on the prowl.

Anonymous said... [Reply to comment]

Your grocery store encounter was too funny. Lol.