Spin Cycle: Love and Valentines Day

In my drunken days love meant a lot of physical affection..hugs, kisses, cuddling and of course sex. Trinkets of affection were the norm and were expected. With the lack of all this..I felt used, neglected and unloved.

I truly thought if my hubby didn't give me a passionate kiss or an extra long big hug or wanted to have sex with me at any moments notice or buy the trinkets to prove his love. That there was something wrong with our relationship. That he didn't love me.

It took a lot of years and getting off the bottle for me to realize these things are not necessary to know I am loved.

Hubby and I had a huge bump in the road of our relationship and that bump was me. My perception of what a relationship should have been was whacked out and soo far off of hubby's ideals. Mine was passion and sex and trinkets of affection, hubby's was friendship, companionship and being a team through this thing called life. Mine were short term and hubby's was long term.

Getting off the bottle helped my eyes to open, that my hubby tells me all the time that he loves me, not just with words but with the little things.
He's not a slob.
He's not abusive.
He's not a drunkard.
He helps me keep the house clean.
He does dishes on the weekends.
He works his tired old butt off to provide.
He doesn't go out spending money on trivial things.
We don't argue. In 18 years, he has only lost it 3 times.
He doesn't demand anything from me.
He makes me laugh all the time.
He takes care of all the auto stuff.
And he even takes out the trash.
There is more, but really we don't want to give him a huge head.

He of course, has his issues. NO, he is not a total saint.
When he is home the remote is under his control.
He wont go to the store for anything, not even a loaf of bread.
When he is on his way home, that is his only destination. He will not stop for any reason. This also applies to going anywhere, he must be told the agenda for the day. If it wasn't on the agenda, then it is not going to happen.
He hates doing the yard soo much, he would like to kill all the grass and pave the whole place over.
He is VERY slow about doing projects. At our old place, we designed and planned a nice porch, fifteen years later it still hadn't happened.
The list could go on and on...

We don't sleep in the same rooms anymore and cuddling is far and in between. We kiss, but I think we have forgotten what a french kiss is. The occasional hug is even more special than it ever was before. Sex is no longer a part of our lives and to tell you the truth, not having to deal with the old age effort, is one pressure we are happy to do without.

He has never bought'en me anything for Valentine's day, Anniversary or even my Birthday. It is not that he doesn't care, he just can't bring himself to going to the store (he has phobias). I do always get told Happy this or that, with a hug and a kiss and I love you.

I bought some flowers Saturday, came home and thanked him for them. If he had gone and got them..they would be no different, they would still be just as pretty. He (I) has excellent taste!!


Through all of his goods and bads, he never forgets to tell me he loves me before he goes to work (if I'm awake) or before he goes to bed.

Valentine's day has a different meaning in this house. For most all couples this is a time for love, romance and trinkets of affection. For us, it is his birthday! We almost always go to his mother's house to either..pick up his birthday cake and presents or to be at his birthday party.

I know we are a strange old couple, but we still love each other.

Happy Valentine's day everybody!!

For more great spins, go to Sprite's Keeper

Stuff Around the House

Ah, so it is finally Tuesday again. I took pics in preparation for today's post, but since I told yall yesterday that I was headed to go get that dresser I had been pining for, I thought I would do that instead.

A little story...

About a month ago (Dec 27th) on my way back from grocery shopping, I stopped at this little tiny town's Flea Market. (The building was an 18 wheeler garage, they gutted it last summer and converted it to our own little multiple family continuous yard sale. Ever since it opened, I have been a frequent customer.) I went halfway down looking over things carefully (don't want to miss anything), when my eyes fell on a dresser and the rest of the place just melted out of view.

I looked it over, it had some slight flaws, but all in all a very nice piece. I guess you could say it was Love at first sight, you know that feeling in your gut that says "I am perfect for you and you are perfect for me."

It was as if this dresser was talking to me...
Please take me home, wash me, polish me and use me! I need a warm home, this cold dark place is ruining my wood! Do you know how awful it is to have rats think you are perfect to nest in. They chewed a hole in my un-see-ables!

I asked the man "How much?" He say 60, but I'll take 50. My heart sank. I was currently the owner of only 32. I looked at it once more and left. Determined (in my mind) to save up the money and hope it would still be there.

I went back once a week, to make sure it was still there. Thankfully it was, each time.

Finally, (through a bit of financial luck) I was headed to get my diamond in the ruff. I walk in and instantly sent my glance to where it had been all this time. I started to panic! The whole area was empty. I rush down to the area, my heart sinking at each step. I was audibly muttering "Oh, No!" I felt like I was an the verge of a full blown tantrum. I swung around to look back towards the entrance to send the cruel lady who sold it a growling look.

Suddenly,
Out of the corner of my eye (as if beaming it's dull smile at me) there it was on the opposite wall.

I breathed.

Then I saw this other woman walking towards it (I not knowing at the time, she was a worker there), I rushed over there and planted my big butt on it, not putting any weight on it, but getting my point across! It's Mine, back off!

I can't remember the last time I was eager to whip out money and give it to someone else! Relief washes over me and at last we are together.

After spending the last two days doing some heavy duty cleaning and fixing some of it's minor flaws (like the hole the rats chewed) and with fresh liners, I proudly present my new dresser.

Lost Coin

Hubby has a quarter that is tails on both sides. It is one of his favorite things to carry around and play tricks on his fellow drivers.

When he got home last night he sadly reported to me that he had lost it.

He realised it was missing this morning and thought maybe it got put in the coin jar. He dumped out all the coins in search for it, It wasn't there. When he got to work, he checked all through his truck hoping that it had fallen out of his pocket.

He remembered at a job site, he had to get his pocket knife out of his pocket and maybe that was where it was. He went back to that job site (without permission) and searched the ground for it. Nope, not there.

He is heartbroken and deeply saddened over the lose of this quarter.
I was silently amused by this strong reaction.
I try to tell him it is nothing to get so upset over, he can easily buy a new one. He tells me it is not the same, it is like if he was to lose his father's favorite Zippo lighter!
Okay, I get it. You poor baby, do you want a hug?

While getting his supper, I thought maybe I should check the quarter stash I have. I had two tube containers full of quarters, I spent the full one today on stamps. I get the last one that has about four dollars in it, go through them and was shaking my head with each one I look at.

Hubbies eyes ligh up, when he notices what I am doing. I slowly disappears with each coin. The very last one was his coin!

I thought for sure he was going to get on to me for getting into his change, but instead I get that really big hug!

Promises of Forever

I know Hubby and I can't be the only people, that find the following statements of gushing adoration in the form of promises to be ridiculous and actually lies.

They are in fairy tales we read to our children, a crap load of movies, even in a lot of peoples wedding vows, just to name a few!

These won't seem like lies, but if you really think about them, even in the best relationships, they are lies.

You be the judge:


I will love you forever...Oh, so that means when I die, you wont be taking on another spouse or even a lover. If I die tomorrow, forever is aloooong time!

I will be with you for the rest of my life...Oops I forgot, you might die before me. I guess if I'm to keep this promise, then I'm going to have to hang your ashes around my neck till I die or sit next to your grave for the rest of my life.

I will never leave you...That means we will both be dying at the exact same moment, Right?

I will follow you to the ends of the Earth...Oh, so the other day when I asked you to go to the grocery store with me and you said NO, you broke your promise! Where is the ENDS of the Earth, anyways?

Where you go, I go...In the end, if you don't stop lying, you won't be going where I'm going! AND stop following me to the bathroom!

I want to spend eternity with you...Ohhh so you are a vampire and are going to recruit me. So we can Live and Live and Live...

I will never love anyone but you...Not even your parents or even your children, NOW I know your lying!

They lived happily ever after...I'm sure Sleeping Beauty was not all that happy, living out the rest of her elderly years without Prince Charming. Which most women do out live their spouses.

I'm sure there is a whole lot more of these types of promises, I just can't stomach to think of any more.

Why do people subject their loved ones with this stuff?

I used to say such things to my first hubby and after that not working out, I realized...

Unless you have a crystal ball looking into the future...

How can anyone honestly promise something about the future?

If we promise our love forever, then marriage should be a breeze! There should be no such thing as divorce.

I mean really, how many past relationships have had these promises in them? If these weren't lies, then they wouldn't be past relationships, they would be current ones and you would have to die at the same exact moment to keep them.

I think life would get pretty stale, if we just knew for a fact based on a promise that our relationships were going to last FOREVER.

Hubby has to work for my love and I have to work for his. Everyday!

If you think I'm wrong, tell me so!
If you think I am touched in the head, well tell me that too!

P.S. Hubby and I are just fine!
This a topic we are in agreement on.