Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Cigs are in my brain...

The whole process of smoking has really got me on edge and a slump. Not really sure those two feeling can coexist together but it sure feels like they can and are.

Since the hubby is going on 2 weeks tomorrow with no smoking, I have been taking my smoking to the great outdoors instead of torturing him by smoking in the house. This has me down from about 25 cigs a day to right at 8. I am on edge! I fidget in my chair, I can't seem to get comfortable or sit in one spot for too long. I am getting snippy with the animals and feel like I am going to blow my top at them any given moment for the slightest little thing. I think about going outside nearly constantly... in the rain storm or blazing sun, even the mosquitoes don't stop me! It is exactly like quitting drugs...Torture!! And I'm not even quitting, just slowing down.

The slump part is from being unable to keep my focus or interest in what I am doing. Even if I am busy, I feel slow, like everything I am doing is in slow motion and unsatisfying. At first I was crocheting like crazy to keep my mind and my hands busy but even that hasn't worked in two days. I find myself just sitting there staring off in space...think about going outside for that cig.

 Even this post is taking longer than normal cause I keep pausing trying to collect my thoughts and keep them on track. ....bye, thanks for listening to my scrambled brain.


Carol said... [Reply to comment]

It does get better, but it takes time. Really shows the addictive qualities of those little sticks, doesn't it? Smoking less leaves more money for yarn!

Paula said... [Reply to comment]

I've never smoked but I can imagine it is a bitch to quit. John quit years ago by spending a lot of money on a program. They had him stop the car or tractor and get off to smoke. I guess the idea is you get tired of stopping when you need to be working. Doubt it would work for everyone. Good luck to you and your husband.

SueBee said... [Reply to comment]

Giving up or cutting down....both are hell in my book. I used to smoke up to 40 a day many years ago and will never go back to it because of the agony of trying to give up.

My daughter smokes and when she came to stay with us for 2 months before emigrating to Australia, she would sit on the window cill, open the window and blow the smoke out....she never went outside to have a ciggie unless it was nice weather. It didn't worry us one bit and she could still enjoy our conversations while smoking. I was happy to let her do this as to try giving up during such a stressful time in her life would have been a disaster for all of us. Yes, I am her mother and should encourage her to give up and I have done so but my theory on this is: She's a grown woman and should make her own decisions on such a delicate matter and secondly's her life.
Do what you feel you want to do Heather...only you can make that decision....keep well