Today I would like to talk about troubled relationships. Through out my life I have been the victim of several types of pain that was dealt to me.
Pain can be dealt in many forms.
There is emotional pain.
One mean look from a love one can inflict pain.
One turn of the back can inflict pain.
One roll of the eyes can inflict pain.
One's careless indifference can inflict pain.
These things happening over and over, will break your spirit and leave you feeling alone in a relationship with a person that has no regard for your feelings. The emotional pain varies from person to person, depending on how strong you are.
There is physical pain.
One push can inflict pain.
One pull of the hair can inflict pain.
One slap can inflict pain.
One punch can inflict pain.
These things happening over and over again, are a real good sign that you are in a very troubled relationship and it could very easily turn into a murder. Physical abuse is nothing to continually forgive. We try to teach our children not to hit, that violence is not okay, so is it okay to let your loved one hit on you? Physical pain/abuse is never okay!
There is verbal pain.
One curse word can inflict pain.
One argument can inflict pain.
One defamation of character can inflict pain.
One derogatory statement can inflict pain.
These things being said or yelled to you over and over again, are going to make you feel helpless. This is a form of making you feel worthless, incompetent and dependent. If you are made to feel these things, you should know that this is all about control. Not good at all!
These pains dealt constantly are....ABUSE!!
I have experienced these abuses and have seen them happen all the time. Spouses doing all they can to hurt one another. How can we possibly think these things are okay or have anything to do with love? The never ending question.
It's so easy to fall into the trap of the words "I love you". They are just words, it's the actions that straightens the truth or the lie in them. How many times are you going to accept the words "I'm sorry"? If they were truly sorry, then they would try with everything in them to never do it again. In abusive relationships, "I'm sorry" is used as an escape, not cause they truly are sorry.
How much are you willing to put up with and at what cost? Your life, your spirit, your soul? Would you be friends with a person that abuses you all the time? Then why would you stay with someone that does the exact same things?
These types of pains/abuses don't have any place in a relationship that is supposed to be about love. If there isn't enough love to make you want to cherish, treasure and PROTECT, then I would have to say the relationship isn't going to work.
Please...Please! If you are in an abusive relationship try to find one thing about yourself that is worth saving. May it be your life, spirit, soul, your children's well being, your children's mental health, your mental health or how about that smile that you've been hiding behind your tears...something, anything!
Please love yourself enough to save yourself! I did it, you can too!
(This post is meant for all persons: male or female.)