Our little Secret...

So what has the New Year brought to us soo far....STRESS!

Not super bad stress like something bad happened but the good kind of stress where something wonderful will result from our moment of stress.

For those who follow me on Facebook might have noticed that I have been a little quiet lately. There is good reason for that. I have soo much to say but there are certain persons I don't want knowing whats going on just yet. Soo please if you leave a comment please leave it here on the blog and not through Facebook or private message me on Facebook. I just couldn't stand keeping such a huge secret from my closest friends (Sue, Peg, Grace, Angelia, Stacy...and soo many more) any longer. 
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We have been blessed with the opportunity to buy some land, not much but just enough to give us elbow room and a place to call ours forever. No more worrying about land owners dying and their children selling the property we sit on. Wonderful news right?!  Why should there be any stress?

OMG the hunt is mind boggling! Considering the budget is on the small side (but who is complaining, at least there is a budget at all), the listings are horrendous! At least 99% of them need a lot of work (which there is no extra money to do repairs) or sit on such a tiny piece of property the hubs would have a panic attack everyday and my dogs would drive me insane barking at every little noise! 

I suffered through the hunt, gave up on most days but managed to find some that met all requirements or at least most of them. It is not easy and the hunt does continue just in case things don't go as planned.

As of right now we are waiting to hear if we can move on to the next step for this one particular piece of property, apparently there are a lot of steps. This alone is driving my stress level almost to its max. My diet is blown to hell and the munchies have taken over. My creativity is being pushed aside cause apparently my brain can't function with all these numbers and percentages floating in my head. I always have been a "one thing at a time" kinda girl. Sad thing is, this process can take months!! What in the world am I going to do with myself for months?

Well for now I am focusing on going through things and determining whether or not this item or that item is worth moving with us. Which means I have a crap load of "NO's" sitting around waiting for me to have a yard sale. My house is a mess, which brings on more stress, I hate the house being out of control.

But I have to remind myself that in the long run it will be soo worth it or at least it better be!!! I am giddy with excitement at the idea that we will never have to worry again, the place will be OURS but there is that other side that is in panic mode. Surely someone understands what I am feeling.

There she blows....

Well good Morning.

Boy oh boy yesterday was a doozy. I played peace keeper with my parents. NOT fun!

I guess as a child it is expected to have, see or hear your parents fight. Even then it wasn't fun, you sit in your spot and watch or listen in silence, with fear running through you. Fear of the unknown of how it is going to turn out. Are they going to leave? Are they going to hug and all will be better? The worst is when they stop yelling and there is a deafening silence between them and you know that you could set them off at any moment.

Me, being the hateful step-child...would side with my daddy and secretly hope she would leave. Somewhere along the way I grew up and became friends with my mother and started viewing her as a woman, a person. A person married to a man, that I would never put up with! Don't get me wrong, I love my daddy, but as a husband...Geezzz! Sometimes I think my mom is amazing to have put up with him for 35 years.

Yesterday, started with a phone call. Mom was red hot livid and finally blew her stack, she stormed out and quaked the house with the slam of the door. What happened to make her so crazy? Well, she asked dad to spend some time with her and he turned her down. Okay well, it really isn't that simple. I talk to my mom nearly everyday woman to woman, this has been brewing for some time. Dad's response was NOT the right thing to say to a woman that has a storm building inside of her. BUT, then again, poor dad. He was oblivious to what is her problem.

What is her problem? Well to be honest everything! She is stressed beyond what any person should have to deal with. Mom gets up each morning with a grunt, she just wishes she could sleep a whole day or two without something being asked of her. She has the grandkids to watch, nearly everyday. A daughter that is in the works of getting out of her abusive situation, with the help of mom. A husband with declining health, but yet still has the ability to demand this and gripe about that. An income that is soo small (I'm talking tiny), I am baffled as to how they manage. A housing complex that appears to be going under and dad wants to move back out in the country, while mom wants to stay in housing cause it secures her future once he has passed. Plus more children needing her help.
Oh and the topper of all this is that my dad is a hoarder, not like on tv, but he is always finding things folks throw away or just give to him. He is a tinker. Computers, appliances... the problem with that is that they live in housing! You can't be having all that stuff in those apartments or outside...Thus the reason he wants to move back to the country, no rules or regulations, no inspections, no limits. We all had hoped that dad would realise his limitations and abide by them, but instead the apartment looks more like a storage facility, which drives my mom MAD. AND we can't forget mom's own declining health.

I'm surprised she doesn't just freak out on everyone and totally lose her mind. Everyone needs something of her, all the time! I always wondered about why she hides in her room whenever she get the chance, now I get it. Me, I would be hiding under the bed with a note on the door "Leave me alone!" and the phones turned off! LOL! The poor woman is exhausted, all the time!

Soo in the end I am siding with mom and totally get why she blew up. Thankfully mom has a woman's retreat coming up and she is soooo looking forward to getting away.

Now back to me...Yesterday I felt like a marriage counselor, to my parents! I hope it will be awhile before this happens again, it is really weird and strange to have my elderly parents fighting. I felt like that little kid sitting in silence hoping for a good outcome. I still don't know the outcome, so fingers crossed!