Being Grateful for our Blessings

I've been sitting here thinking on how blessed we are and all the things we have to be thankful for. We live a very simple life and yet we don't really hurt for anything. We still have a roof over our heads, even though sometimes it leaks it is still there. More than some can say, especially in these times of hardships across the country. We haven't had any automotive issues lately and that alone is a great blessing. It doesn't hurt that the hubby is on top of regular maintenance like a fly to glue paper (almost to an annoyance (hehehe)). No big health issues to report. For that alone I am extremely grateful. Sure we have our aches and pains and hubby's coughing/breathing issue but no trips to the doctors or hospital for a good long time. Even though hubby was unemployed for 6 weeks and things were getting pretty scary for the pocketbook, we are thankful to report hubby has a job and starts work Monday. Hard times are still ahead but I am confident that once we get past the holidays things will look up and the pocket book wont be stretched as badly. My little side business Southern Gal's Crochet has been going good and has blessed us with some much needed extra funds in our time of need. Every sale no matter how small helped. I am grateful that I was blessed with the knowledge to crochet and have found a way to help my hubby. I am grateful for my family and friends. We never had to ask a thing from them but they were always there to help provide. My pantry may not look like much to most people but it is filled with love. Many a meal was provided by the wonderful people in our lives. I'm sure I have posted something very similar to this post before, but I never tire of sharing what we have to be so grateful for. I could go on and on but I wont. Be grateful for the big and especially the little blessing you have in your life.

Blessings on the table

Sitting here and feeling very blessed.
I get something out for us to eat and I think of the person that gave it to us...

Cereal..my mom
Pancakes and syrup...also mom
Peanut butter sandwich...brother and sis
Zucchini...our landlord
Tomatoes...also our landlord
Venison sausage...trucking buddy
and so much more...

Just soo many blessings and they keep coming, makes one wonder what I have been doing right lately...I have no answer for that. I guess that is why they are called blessings, the unexpected return on something you have no clue what it was. All I know is that I am grateful for the blessings and the people in our lives that bestow such great kindness on us. 


 

Grateful for my Poverty.

Today was a time to be grateful for what little I do have.

My childhood friend called today just to have some one to listen to her and hear her woes. We have talked many times in the last few months since we got reconnected and it has been great getting to know her again, but something in me is off. I feel a great sadness for what all she has been through and what these things have lead her life to. I guess I thought that with age comes wisdom, but for some reason this doesn't seem to be the case. Maybe I said that wrong, it's not that she hasn't learnt wisdom from her experiences, but it doesn't seem to have gotten her to change the path her life has been on for all of her life.

When I first met her she was just as poverty stricken as we were. Only difference was we were a family of 6 and they were just her and her mom. My dad worked his scrawny butt off to provide for his large family and they got a monthly check from the VA. I remember a time when she and I was talking and I learned that the check they got was for a thousand dollars a month. I was in jaw dropping awe! I couldn't understand how come they couldn't make it, when their money was 200 more than dads money. To tell ya the truth I still don't get it.

They rented just like us. They didn't have a car just like us. They struggled for food just like us. And so on and so on. Our lives were nearly exact, except for the size. They moved nearly as much as we did, but for different reasons. Our reason was crappy landlords that didn't want to fix the places up. They moved in the search for something better. At least I think that is why they moved all the time. I can't be positive, it may be something deeper that I never knew about. I do know of a few times it was to get away from all the drama in their lives or to just leave it all behind them and start fresh in a new place. I understand that to a degree, I did the same thing when I moved away from that town and came here.

Any way what I was trying to get at is that for some reason her life hasn't changed at all. They are still in the extreme struggling mode every month. They still move from one place to the next, it is almost as if they get restless after a few years and have to start over in order to keep things in chaos. Her life is chaos to me and for that feeling, I am upset with myself. It was a long time ago that I was in the same situation, but surely I didn't forget. I have become comfortable with my life, stable hubby, stable house, stable income (Most of the time, except for in the winter).

I guess in my mind all them years we were apart, I figured her life to have become like mine. Settled, fixed, stable. I was expecting to hear about her long lasting relationship and the wonderful hubby, the place she has been working, the house they finally found after searching for so long and the kids all doing well in school (even collage perhaps), blah blah blah. Basically I figured her life to actually have turned out better than mine. Reality check, this did not happen for her. None of it actually, except for the good boyfriend for the last 2 years and one child who left home at a young age and got an opportunity for himself and is currently in college. Well at least there is that, right?

For me all the moving around as a child lead me to NEVER want to move! The chaos of boyfriend after boyfriend lead me to hold on tight to the best man I stumbled across. Just kidding but you know what I mean, right?

The finances of poverty lead me to sacrifice all niceties just to make sure the bills were paid and food on the table, for me that comes first above all else! I will wash my hair with dish soap, if that is all I can afford to do. I will not drive my truck more than absolutely necessary (like 8 miles a week, most weeks). I will not eat out, when it is soo much cheaper to eat at home. I will not buy those jeans or tennies I need, if it means not paying something. This is something I have learned (Through our phone convos)that she still hasn't learned.

Like she was just today, returning a wanted item just so she could get some needed items.

My life is not all that it could be, but at least I don't have to worry about paying the bills or having at least some food on the tv tray. Even if we do eat chili or spaghetti three nights in a row or a brisket for a week, at least we have food.

I just never thought our lives would be soo different. I know I have changed and some would say "Hey what happened to that wild and crazy girl?", But I say (after learning what happens if you stay that way) "Thank goodness she got lost somewhere along the way!" I can NOW imagine just how my life would be, if I hadn't had changed my life and mindset around. I would be right there along side her struggling for every morsel, every roof and in as much emotional pain.

Maybe our losing each other way back when was an unforeseen blessing. Is it wrong that I am having a difficult time with all of this? I am finding myself pulling away from talking to her as much and I feel awful about it. Like I am betraying our friendship over something that she has no control over. She is who she is and I feel like I need to step down off my short pedestal and be there for her, but I am finding that difficult without getting angry at her for not trying to change her situation (even just a smidgen). It's like I knew her, but I'm not understanding the woman that she has become. I don't know how to get past this ugly feeling of disappointment.

*Sigh*

Well anyway, this has all made just a little more aware of just how grateful I am of how my life is/has turned out and appreciate all the more of what little I do have. It could definitely be worse, as I am slowly remembering (I guess I did kinda forget) and learning.