Hillbilly Alert!!

Hubby calls me to let me know he is on his way home. He tells me to go get his steak cause he has "For Real" gotten over sixty hours this week. He says he wants a prime rib. I tell him I don't even know what a prime rib looks like, I'm going to have to look it up.



He says..while your looking that up, look up craigslist. Go to boats and type in free in the search bar, pull up the fifth one.

Just him talking computer talk blew me away!
I asked why and he said just do it and you'll see. I'm like..O.kay. He hangs up and I rush to the computer. I find it and pull it up. Here is what I see:



I call him back immediately!
OMG you are such a hillbilly!
He cracks up laughing and says "You say that like its a bad thing! Email them and see if they still have it."

He has always wanted to have a house boat. He wants to live on one permanently. I've always known this and even got him a t-shirt with a hillbilly house boat on it. This is a whole new level I was not prepared for.

While waiting for a reply from the owner..
I was getting his supper and I asked "Where are you going to put it?"
Him..In the front yard
Me..Even IF I was to let you, it wouldn't fit. Your going to have to call around and find a boat storage place.
Him..Fine I'll dock it at the lake.
Me..I'm not so sure they will let you set up camp permanently.
(You have to know I have been laughing my fool head off, ever since I laid eyes on that pic!)

We bounced ideas around and around and he still came back to putting it here in the yard.
Me..I don't want to look out my front door and have my whole scenery be nothing but boat! LOL!
He..(cracks up) I told him (him being his friend at work, Two Speed) I would never get away with bringing it home.
Me..I don't think the landlord would be too thrilled about it either.
Him..Oooo, call him and find out!!
Me..I don't need to call him, cause I wont go for it and I rule! LOL!
(We haven't laughed this hard in at least a week)

I finally told him that IF it was still available AND he could find a place to put it, (that wont break us) then he could get it.

His brain went into overload!
He called people and got some real good suggestions. He was soo excited! According to him he had it all planned out.

I asked what about the animals (especially the cats), he said "No problem". (I butted in and yelled "Whiskers how would ya like to live on a boat?")
Hubby say he could be a catfish and the dogs could be mud puppies!
LMAO!!

Finally the guy emails us back and wouldn't ya know it, it was picked up this morning. Hubby gets all bummed out, saying "A day late, always a day late".

Me on the other hand..dodged a huge bullet!

Later he is like..Did ya print it yet? Not yet.
Did ya print it yet?
Did ya print it yet?
Did ya print it yet?

Geezzzzz, you want it right now!
Him..Well I don't want ya to forget it.
Fine!

I hand him the print out and he looks at it and in a little boy voice..I'll never get my house boat.

A few moments later he comes in the kitchen and says Well now I have a house boat (referring to the paper).
I bet it has a huge hole in the floor on the inside and that is why it was free.
He looks at me and shakes his head..Well dah Edith, of course it does! How else are you going to fish and watch tv on a rainy day!
LMAO!!

Dude you need to go to bed before my belly bursts!

Chatting with Niece

I forwarded this e-mail....

Click to enlarge, so you can read it.


This is what Boo sent me back...
Aunt Heather is this a true story about the crust and when you were a little girl?

I saw she was online, so I started a chat with her...I laughed my way through the whole thing, she is sooo confusingly hilarious!

----- Our chat on Wed, 1/20/10 8:36 PM -----

Froggy (8:26 PM): No it is just something a friend sent me.
Boo (8:28 PM): OK because I was going to send it to my Best friends
Froggy (8:28 PM): Thats okay, do it. I bet they would really like it.
Boo (8:29 PM): OK I will tomorow
Froggy (8:29 PM): Enjoy all the mail I sent you, love you!
Boo (8:30 PM): I did But I am saving some of it forr tomrorow
Froggy (8:30 PM): Okay. Good night.
Boo (8:31 PM): NO NOT GOOD NIGHT
Froggy (8:31 PM): Yes, Good night.
Boo (8:31 PM): I WANT TO TALK MORE
Froggy (8:31 PM): About what?
Boo (8:31 PM): NO NO NO NO AND NO
Froggy (8:32 PM): LOL!!!
Boo (8:32 PM): LOL!!! NO NO NO NO NO GETING OF LINE
Boo (8:33 PM): I WANTED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING BUT I FORGOT
Froggy (8:33 PM): Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.
Boo (8:34 PM): HAH THATS NOT NICE AUNT HEATHER
Boo (8:34 PM): THAT IS VERY RUDE
Froggy (8:34 PM): It's an old song from a candy bar commercial
Boo (8:34 PM): AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
Froggy (8:34 PM): It was supposed to be funny
Froggy (8:35 PM): Have you ever had the candy bar Almond Joy
Froggy (8:35 PM): Or Mounds
Boo (8:35 PM): Aunt Heather I got To GO
Froggy (8:35 PM): Love ya bye
Boo (8:36 PM): AUNT HEATHER I GOT TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Boo (8:36 PM): OK BYE

(I thought we was done)
----- Our chat on Wed, 1/20/10 9:12 PM -----

Boo (8:39 PM): Aunt Heather I want to talk to you again
Froggy (8:40 PM): LOL!!!
Froggy (8:40 PM): What did you forget
Boo (8:41 PM): WHAT I SAW THAT MY FRIEND WAS ONLINE AND WANTED TO TALK TO HER
Froggy (8:42 PM): Ohhh, I was thrown away for a friend.
Boo (8:42 PM): BUT THEN SHE GOT OFF LINE THEN I SAW THAT YOU WERE STILL ONLINE AND WANTED TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN
Froggy (8:43 PM): Soooo...How was school?
Boo (8:44 PM): IT'S OK I LIKE IT VERY MUCH. RIGHT NOW I'M IN ART CLASS INSTEAD OF MUSIC
Froggy (8:45 PM): What have you done in art clas?
Boo (8:45 PM): ART CLASS IS A COOL CLASS.
Froggy (8:46 PM): Are you having fun with those colors? (She kept changing the size and color of her text)
Boo (8:47 PM): Today we watched a art moive.
Boo (8:47 PM): YES
Froggy (8:47 PM): What color is next?
Boo (8:48 PM): THEY ARE ON THE BOTTOM OF the page.
Froggy (8:48 PM): How was the movie?
Froggy (8:48 PM): LOLLOLOLOLOLO!!!!!!
Boo (8:49 PM): one min. she is in the bathroom.
Froggy (8:49 PM): Who am I talking to?
Froggy (8:49 PM): The big Boo
Boo (8:49 PM): mnoica
Froggy (8:50 PM): You can't even spell your own name!!! LOL!!
Boo (8:50 PM): I'm back
Froggy (8:50 PM): I can't stop laughing
Boo (8:51 PM): I can spell y own name Aunt
Froggy (8:51 PM): You mother can't
Boo (8:52 PM): I Know
Froggy (8:52 PM): Love this color game (I joined in on the game)
Boo (8:53 PM): SHE WAS NOT SAPELLING RIGHT BECAUSE I WAS CAGHING (coughing)
Froggy (8:54 PM): Again! Maybe you need to get another breathing treatment
Boo (8:54 PM): Let me type
Froggy (8:54 PM): what? LOL!
Froggy (8:55 PM): 1000 mokeys just landed on Boo's keyboard
Froggy (8:55 PM): Now I can't spell
Boo (8:56 PM): The movie was not that great because the words went by so fast that you couldn't even read them.
Boo (8:57 PM): OK Aunt Heather you are going to have to let ME type so you can get your answers
Froggy (8:58 PM): LOL!!!
Boo (8:58 PM): WHAT IS ?
Boo (8:59 PM): I take that back
Boo (8:59 PM): I meant WHAT
Froggy (8:59 PM): I don't know anymore!
Boo (9:01 PM): Anymore of WHAT I just told you about my movie I watched today.
Froggy (9:01 PM): You are going to be the star of my next blog.
Boo (9:02 PM): AH heaaaaaa ME
Boo (9:02 PM): DSr
Froggy (9:02 PM): Boo is hammering out a wicked comeback
Froggy (9:03 PM): Boo is typing something utterly brillant
Boo (9:03 PM): WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Froggy (9:03 PM): What is DSr?
Froggy (9:03 PM): LOL!
Boo (9:04 PM): I was playing around
Froggy (9:04 PM): Me too!
Froggy (9:04 PM): You crack me up!
Boo (9:04 PM): DR.HESAEASFFYDGFGYHGFHFDH
Boo (9:04 PM): mdkfjjg'gjoufsjg
Froggy (9:05 PM): What? LOL!
Boo (9:05 PM): LOL! I crack My self Up also
Froggy (9:06 PM): Can I go do my blog now? Before I pee my pants!
Boo (9:07 PM): NONONONONONONONONO
Froggy (9:07 PM): Brb, gotta go to the potty!
Boo (9:07 PM): BUT GO TO THE BATHROOM AND COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Froggy (9:08 PM): K, I'm back
Boo (9:09 PM): Were is the [o]
Froggy (9:09 PM): Why do I feel like I am in school?
Boo (9:09 PM): HURY UP
Froggy (9:10 PM): Hurry up for what?
Boo (9:10 PM): BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'M A TEACHER AND YOUR THE KID NOW
Boo (9:11 PM): BECAUSE you took to long
Froggy (9:11 PM): getting a little big for your britches!
Boo (9:11 PM): WHAT
Froggy (9:12 PM): To old of a phrase, sorry.
Boo (9:12 PM): I DON'T UNDERSTAND
Boo (9:13 PM): change the color of your words
Froggy (9:13 PM): How's that?
Boo (9:14 PM): GOOD
Froggy (9:14 PM): I need to get back to work
Boo (9:14 PM): What are we going to talk about
Boo (9:15 PM): NONONONONONONONONO
Froggy (9:15 PM): Nothing, I have laughed way tooo much already
Boo (9:15 PM): Because I love you and I never get to see you
Froggy (9:16 PM): I know, I'm sorry
Boo (9:16 PM): Why are you sorry
Froggy (9:17 PM): That we don't get to see each other very much
Boo (9:17 PM): OH that
Froggy (9:17 PM): Isn't it past your bedtime? Don't you have school in the morning?
Boo (9:18 PM): OH great
Froggy (9:18 PM): What? How is that an answer?
Boo (9:19 PM): How bout we get off line and talk on the phone
Froggy (9:19 PM): sounds good to me.
Boo (9:19 PM): LOL
Boo (9:19 PM): OK GOOD BYE TALK TO YOU SOON
Froggy (9:20 PM): Boo is in the zone, wait for the AHA moment


I call her and she gives the phone to her mother.
In the background she says...I only talk online!

LMAO!! My tummy hurts from laughing so much!

Getting Old Humor

I just had to share this e-mail with yall, it is hilarious!
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I am OFTEN having to go to my mother's house to "fix" her televisions. She will get the t.v. off of channel 3 or something that makes it unable to get the dish working for her. Always one of those things where I hit one button, and fix it. A friend, and neighbor of my mother's, was talking with me about this. He has to do the same with his parents who live in the neighborhood. He said a friend of his, however, had the best story. He was at work, his mother called because she couldn't get her television working. He was going to try over the phone to see what she had done (believe me--that NEVER works), but he was trying. He asked her about the t.v. being on channel 3, the dish box being turned on, etc. He then asked her what she was getting when she tried to change the channels. She said "doesn't matter what button I hit, I keep getting a busy signal." She was using the portable phone to try and change the channels.
PARENTS, GOT LOVE UM.

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An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and
even the accelerator!' she cried. The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.' He says.
'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'

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Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters,
'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down? The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.'

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'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.' And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.'

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A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say 'Supersex.' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair.. Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.'

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Now this one is just too Precious...LOL!

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me ... I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought And thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is..

Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'

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SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!'

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DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went Through a red light.'

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, She turned to the other woman and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran
through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!'

Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?'